Thursday, August 28, 2014

Post Surgery The Good, The Not Great and the Breathing...

Well.
It happened.
My surgeon came to my husband and I post surgery to talk about the results.
There's good. There's not great. There's hope.
He showed me a picture of my lower right lobe lung and pointed out the cancer. Also the lymph node that he took out. Both were sitting on a sterile tray. The lung looked happy/red/pink and the cancer area looked like a bright blob of yellow. Disconcerting that my body does this to itself.

So.
Surgery.
What a waiting game!
We headed up to the surgery but when we got set up, the anesthesiologist wasn't there, he was stuck in traffic. Now, I get really sensitive on the ride up to surgery. I get stressed. Tears threaten to spill. I try to joke and refocus. So when the lovely nurse came to tell me about the delay she patted my arm. I flatly told her that she was going to make me cry if she continued to be kind and that I'd be better if we simply talked. So we did. For 20 minutes while the anesthesiologist showed up and set up the iv and more. It was the best thing to simply have a distracting conversation. Thank goodness she listened. And talked. Quite grateful.
She was shocked that it was the third time for me to be in that operating room in less than a year's time. I'm a little shocked still as well.

I was surprised at the pain when I woke up. It wasn't where it belonged. It was sharp pain in my neck and shoulder. It hasn't completely gone away yet. It was something where a past shoulder problem happened again when my arm was above my head for 2.5 hours during surgery.

They gave me ice and a physiotherapist came today and iced again and gave me a soft massage. She also gave me a new breathing toy that I'm not so fond of yet. Maybe later I'll successfully inhale air strong enough to make my surgeon happy. Shall see. For now, it is slightly painful to breathe deeply. I have a drain in my side going to a rectangular box. That drain hurts when I sneeze, cough, or do anything else extreme... Keeping me a little quiet.

The surgeon had good news. and not so good news. Here it goes:
He completely removed the main tumor site in my lung. He also removed a lot of my lymph nodes near my esophagus but many were stuck on the esophagus and he was careful to not cut there too much since it could create many other problems. So there are probably some cancer cells in me still. But I'm not done fighting.

I talked with my oncologist today and he explained to my husband and I that this type of cancer is rare (yeah, thanks body) and at my age it is rare to get as well (again, thanks body for going above and beyond) :) but the cells are extremely sensitive to radiation and that he is certain they will be killed during radiation treatment which will be combined with chemotherapy... when? Undetermined. He hopes to get more biopsy results on Saturday and then by next week start sorting things out.

Me? I'm simply focused on getting stronger after that surgery. Breathing in and making balls move.
Appreciating all the support and love from family and friends.

Came across a Facebook post I wrote a year ago- found it quite ironic considering that weeks later my first diagnosis occurred:
(Seriously, listen to your body when it is screaming at you!)


4 comments:

  1. wow, Debbie. Hard to read, so I can't imagine actually living it. But there you are, LIVING it. Key word keeps being living. So many rooting for you, sending heartfelt love and prayers. I know it's not enough, but it sure is something real. Keep fighting, I'm taking notes about how unbelievably strong you are. <3

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  2. What a wrenching post to write Debbie. So many as Gae said are rooting and praying for you. Keep strong and may recovery be smooth and quick. Will definitely continue with my prayers.

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  3. I stand in awe of you, Debbie. In my way of thinking this post and the many others are your way of focusing and staying strong. Your attitude is incredible. I say prayers for you each day. Sending you much love.

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  4. Love you lots sister! Breathe slowly like in yoga. Hugs!!!!

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